Can You Really Say You Know?
I was able to take part in a session of group talk were Hill Harper's book The Conversation was the catalyst. An eventual solid mixture of young men and women discussing relationships where no question was off limits. Plenty of food and drinks set the backdrop for great dialogue and an openness I had not experienced from a large group in years. As the questions began to flow and the diverse personalities began to show, it became clear that there is still considerable work to be done to change how men view women and women view men.
I am sure each person took something different for the discussion, but the question that stood out as an eye opener for the group was, 'How do you know that you have been loved?' Instantly the open personal vibe seemed to fade into subdued hopes that we would move on to an easier question. On the surface everyone seemed to have an answer that was very generic. As my younger brother began to answer the question, choosing his words carefully in addition to having a personal moment of clarity coupled with a moment of personal vulnerability - it got me to thinking. How many of us really know love when it comes to us and can recognize when we are truly being loved?
Just as the term 'dating' is used out of context, so is 'love'. This could branch of into the topic of Love vs. In-Love, but we would be here until the next ice age. And yes 'Love' is different for everyone, but how many people can nail down the things, moments, times, and actions that let them know that they have been loved? Not loved like the cousin you grew up with or your favorite childhood cartoon. Loved completely to a feeling of bliss....and no one could tell you different because they would be wrong. Food for thought.
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You can also pick up a copy of my book Male Insight - Bridging The Gap
Thank you for reading....
This is because most confuse infatuation with love... Love isn't a feeling it is a commitment to accept another person and to put their needs before your own. Rarely is that found and/or equally reciprocated. And those who do find it have only done so through years of trial and error... Years of going through the hard times together. You'll find that if you ask a group of single people that question, you will get a lot of self-centered reponses about how the other person makes THEM feel.. Or what the other person does for THEM. Rarely will you get a response expressing what they are willing to do for the OTHER person. So it doesn't surprise me that most don't know, because most don't have the fortitude to wait for it, or the selflessness to endure and look beyond their own needs... Which is probably why they are still single..
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