What is the REAL issue with a "Pick Me"?

She's a "pick me". Insert feminine scoff and eye roll from the audience. 

Don't be a "simp". I assume this is the male version of a pick me.

I am not sure who coined the phrases, but at what point do we dig deeper? Or will these be the catch phrases for all men and women who go against the gender code?

Let's see what Google has to say:

A "pick me" person might engage in behaviors or make statements that are perceived as trying too hard to be chosen or preferred by a potential romantic partner. This can include downplaying the interests or preferences of their own gender to align more with what they believe the opposite gender finds appealing.

The term is commonly used in online discussions, especially in the context of social media, to criticize individuals who seem overly eager to please or gain the approval of others, often at the expense of their own authenticity or self-respect.

So let me ask this question. Aren't we all attempting to get chosen? If not chosen, then we want to chose what appeals to us. Right?

The way we dress, style our hair, smell, and carry ourselves; aren't those things a part of advertising for who we desire to attract? We show ourselves of daily, but mock those that choose to market themselves "differently"?

I was recently in a conversation with my neighbor about house value. We were venting about a different neighbor who had sold his home for less than it's potential value. The selling neighbor wanted to move quickly, so he took less money. We were concerned about how the sale would impact our property value. Maybe that is the issue with a "pick me".

Does their approach create a fear of lessening the value or stance of the gender that they belong to? Does the single person's value or stock diminish as the so-called "pick me" tribe grows in number? I doubt it, but it appears that is what many think. In a world full of follower and copycats - I guess a "pick me" should stand out.

If we are trying to help someone not undervalue themselves, I am sure we could find a better way. That is, if we are truly concerned about the other person's value or self respect. Since we don't use the term in an endearing way, it is safe to assume that it is more about us than it is about them.

With the gender divide growing wider and wider, division within the genders appears to be growing as well. Insert virtual sigh, and not a good one.

If a pick me or simp is willing to do the things that others won't to secure what the desire, why should others even care? I guess we could call them haters. Too many labels and not enough solutions.

So let a pick me get picked. Let the simp get selected. If they are wrong, who does it impact? Choose yourself and focus your energy there. See how easy that was?

Come join the conversations: MCAR
You can also pick up a copy of my book Male Insight - Bridging The Gap

Thank you for reading....