The Dating Scene....SMH
The dating scene is crazy! I watch my single friends and family go through their pitfalls of attempting to find someone that they have something remotely in common with.Then there are the others that come out of a relationship trying to re-single-ize themselves, only to realize that what they had was far better than being out on the prowl with the vultures. From jobs to clubs to church to working out, a single person is always on the hunt (consciously or unconsciously) for a prospect at prosperity, peace of mind, and that elusive 'happily ever after.' Searching, hunting, waiting, praying, chanting for a mate. Because in the end no matter how 'hard' we want to be - we all want to be loved for who we are.
It seems the longer people are single, the more set in their ways they are. Holding themselves hostage, releasing parts of who they are and even less on what they are about. I tend to use the term 'jaded'. They want it, but whomever they meet has to go through hell to see a glimpse of something promising. Some sick single person's version of 'hazing.' "I can be the best man/woman for you, but...umm...you gotta go first." You have to show how much you want it, but you don't even know what it is that you are getting. I am not sure who began the 'hedging your bets' process on dating, but it is out of control.
Men: Have gotten so comfortable with the fact that there is 'man shortage' that they do and say almost anything. Enjoying the fruits of meaningless sex with single and non-single women alike, and nurturing a ever-growing fear of commitment. If he is a top notch catch, he knows it, and every woman will know it as well with the follow up question to the woman,"Well, what do you bring to the table?" Her resume' best be long and distinguished to compete with his fear of potential damage to his good credit rating, moving her into his home-or selling, and changing the direction of what has gotten him this far - all for the sake of a chance at love. Then there is the man who isn't hitting on two pennies, but for some reason the ladies love him. So why should he commit? He is getting all of the benefits from multiple women and none of the responsibilities. Jaded from one end of the spectrum to the other.
Women: Have become so empowered via the economic needs, examples out of a broken home, or equal opportunity that some have become somewhat unapproachable. Electing "group think" and "yeah gurl" groups as opposed to the potential of a meaningful relationship for fear of being emotionally injured. Good male prospects are slim, so the protection mechanism is operating on a high level. If she is top notch typically she is 'self-contained' and demanding to avoid a poser. Overlooking the garbage man, because he IS the garbage man. A road to being superficial yet seeking substance - won't work. And then there is the woman who determines that her 'sex' is her way of self-fulfillment. Sexing the single man, the married man, or any man in hopes to lure him her way. Committing sexually in hopes that it develops into an emotional commitment. But if it doesn't work - no loss on her part, as she benefits in a way similar to her male counterpart. But why would he commit to her? (see above paragraph) Jaded on this side of the ball too.
Where do we begin in an effort to pull it together? It seems as if there are more singles being added daily to this war of attrition. And there is no winner. Both sides are getting further apart. Digging in deeper and drawing battle lines to protect their hearts. For those that are in a relationship or married....STAY THERE....nothing to see here, keeping it moving. Grab your mate's hand and walk away briskly.
Come join the conversations: MCAR
You can also pick up a copy of my book Male Insight - Bridging The Gap
Thank you for reading....
It seems the longer people are single, the more set in their ways they are. Holding themselves hostage, releasing parts of who they are and even less on what they are about. I tend to use the term 'jaded'. They want it, but whomever they meet has to go through hell to see a glimpse of something promising. Some sick single person's version of 'hazing.' "I can be the best man/woman for you, but...umm...you gotta go first." You have to show how much you want it, but you don't even know what it is that you are getting. I am not sure who began the 'hedging your bets' process on dating, but it is out of control.
Men: Have gotten so comfortable with the fact that there is 'man shortage' that they do and say almost anything. Enjoying the fruits of meaningless sex with single and non-single women alike, and nurturing a ever-growing fear of commitment. If he is a top notch catch, he knows it, and every woman will know it as well with the follow up question to the woman,"Well, what do you bring to the table?" Her resume' best be long and distinguished to compete with his fear of potential damage to his good credit rating, moving her into his home-or selling, and changing the direction of what has gotten him this far - all for the sake of a chance at love. Then there is the man who isn't hitting on two pennies, but for some reason the ladies love him. So why should he commit? He is getting all of the benefits from multiple women and none of the responsibilities. Jaded from one end of the spectrum to the other.
Women: Have become so empowered via the economic needs, examples out of a broken home, or equal opportunity that some have become somewhat unapproachable. Electing "group think" and "yeah gurl" groups as opposed to the potential of a meaningful relationship for fear of being emotionally injured. Good male prospects are slim, so the protection mechanism is operating on a high level. If she is top notch typically she is 'self-contained' and demanding to avoid a poser. Overlooking the garbage man, because he IS the garbage man. A road to being superficial yet seeking substance - won't work. And then there is the woman who determines that her 'sex' is her way of self-fulfillment. Sexing the single man, the married man, or any man in hopes to lure him her way. Committing sexually in hopes that it develops into an emotional commitment. But if it doesn't work - no loss on her part, as she benefits in a way similar to her male counterpart. But why would he commit to her? (see above paragraph) Jaded on this side of the ball too.
Where do we begin in an effort to pull it together? It seems as if there are more singles being added daily to this war of attrition. And there is no winner. Both sides are getting further apart. Digging in deeper and drawing battle lines to protect their hearts. For those that are in a relationship or married....STAY THERE....nothing to see here, keeping it moving. Grab your mate's hand and walk away briskly.
Come join the conversations: MCAR
You can also pick up a copy of my book Male Insight - Bridging The Gap
Thank you for reading....
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