And Then the Fight Started.....
I have always enjoyed the relationship jokes that end with, "and then the fight started''. A series of jokes consisting of funny moments between mates that lead to one being offended by the other, and ending in some comical altercation.
Unfortunately, real life does not work that way. Once the buttons are pressed for most, the 'fight' is on and popping. The need to get the point across. The need to be heard. The need to be right. The need to win. And for some, win at all cost. But is what was won versus what was lost worth it?
Or was anything won at all? Hmmmm....
Did I just tear down someone I am supposed to love for the sake of being right? And even if my pride allows me to go back to try and make it right, will it be? The statement is true that 'words once spoken can never be recalled' and rarely do they miss their original target. Some disagreements can last for hours, days, or weeks. When is enough....enough? When someone gets tired and walks away? When the love is chipped away until none remain?
Is it ever really over? Moments later forgotten of who started it, and why you were even arguing to begin with. However, the pain from it remains and the hurtful words still sting.
It has been my experience to.....*pause for dramatic effect*......not even argue at all. I do not subscribe to avoidance or smoothing over issues. A certain amount of conflict is good for relationships. It shows growth. It is how you handle that conflict that is most important.
Suggestion: early in the relationship establish a standard that lends towards the idea of having constructive conflict. Keep it solution oriented. Each partner does their part to NOT be hurtful. It is never about winning as an individual, but winning as a couple. Start the dialogue with an 'I love you' and end it with another one...ending the fight, that never started.
Now get back to the loving.....Enjoy.
Come join the conversations: MCAR
You can also pick up a copy of my book Male Insight - Bridging The Gap
Thank you for reading....
Unfortunately, real life does not work that way. Once the buttons are pressed for most, the 'fight' is on and popping. The need to get the point across. The need to be heard. The need to be right. The need to win. And for some, win at all cost. But is what was won versus what was lost worth it?
Did I just tear down someone I am supposed to love for the sake of being right? And even if my pride allows me to go back to try and make it right, will it be? The statement is true that 'words once spoken can never be recalled' and rarely do they miss their original target. Some disagreements can last for hours, days, or weeks. When is enough....enough? When someone gets tired and walks away? When the love is chipped away until none remain?
Is it ever really over? Moments later forgotten of who started it, and why you were even arguing to begin with. However, the pain from it remains and the hurtful words still sting.
It has been my experience to.....*pause for dramatic effect*......not even argue at all. I do not subscribe to avoidance or smoothing over issues. A certain amount of conflict is good for relationships. It shows growth. It is how you handle that conflict that is most important.
Suggestion: early in the relationship establish a standard that lends towards the idea of having constructive conflict. Keep it solution oriented. Each partner does their part to NOT be hurtful. It is never about winning as an individual, but winning as a couple. Start the dialogue with an 'I love you' and end it with another one...ending the fight, that never started.
Come join the conversations: MCAR
You can also pick up a copy of my book Male Insight - Bridging The Gap
Thank you for reading....
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